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Dirty Political Jokes

40 Dirty Political Jokes
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Q: What's the difference between Monica Lewinsky and the rest of us?

A: In order for us to get some dick in the White House, we had to go outand vote.

Q: How will history remember Bill Clinton?

A: The President after Bush.

Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and his dog Buddy?

A: One tries to hump the leg of every woman in the White House, the other is a chocolate Lab.

Q: What does Clinton say to interns as they leave his office?

A: "Don't hit your head on the desk."

Q: Did you hear about the Bill Clinton sale at clothing stores on President's Day?

A: All pants half off.

Q: What do Monica Lewinsky and the Buffalo Bills have in common?

A: They both blew the big one several times.

Q: What was the first thing Monica saw in government?

A: The Executive Branch.

Q: What do Monica Lewinsky and soda pop machines have in common?

A: They both have slots which say "Insert Bill" here."

Q: What's the difference between Watergate and Zippergate?

A: This time we know who Deep Throat is.

Q: What's the recipe for Clinton stew?

A: A small weenie in hot water.

Q: What are the ingredients for the new, improved Clinton stew?

A: One wiener, one tongue, one cooked goose, lots of spilled beans and hot water.

Q: What did Clinton say when asked if he had used protection?

A: "Sure, there was a guard standing right outside the door."

Q: What's the difference between Clinton and a screwdriver?

A: A screwdriver turns in screws, and Clinton screws interns.

Q: How do you know Bill Clinton is done having sex?

A: You have to wipe the "White-Water" off your blouse...




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The Gores and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One. Bill looks at Al, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $100.00 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy."

Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $10.00 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy."

Hillary tosses her perfectly hair-sprayed hair and says, "Of course, then, I could throw one hundred-$1.00 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy."

Chelsea rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says, "I could throw all of you out the fucking window and make the whole country happy!"




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EMERGENCY NOTICE FROM THE WHITE HOUSE PLEASE READ AND PASS ON TO ALL CONCERNED CITIZENS!!!!!

Democrats announced today that they are changing their emblem from a donkey to a condom because it more clearly reflects their party's political stance.

A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, discourages cooperation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives one a sense of security while screwing others.


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Hillary Clinton went into a pet shop and found a beautiful parrot. "Does this parrot talk?" she asked. "Yes, he does," the manager told her. "But why is this one only $50 and all the others are $500?" "Well, ma'am," the manager explained, "not everyone would want to own this parrot since he spent years in a whore house and his language is somewhat foul."

"Well, I want him," she said.

"Suit yourself," the manager shrugged. When Hillary got the parrot back to the White House, she uncovered his cage and admired the bird. The parrot tilted his head to one side, looked her straight in the eye and said, "New house, new madam."

Hillary laughed.

Soon, Chelsea and a friend came in and began admiring the bird. "New house, new whores," the parrot observed.

Hillary explained the bird's history to Chelsea and her friend, so they too, laughed.

Later, the President entered the living quarters. The parrot took one look at him and said, "Hi, Bill!"


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Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.

They should both be changed regularly…and for the same reason.


40 Dirty Political Jokes
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