These jokes are for those who are like tl;dr...
Q: Why is it a good thing that Mitt Romney doesn't drink beer?
A: Because no one would want to have one with him.
Q: How does Mormon presidential candidate Mitt Romney expect to win the soccer mom vote?
A: By marrying all of them!
What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has NO EL.
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
America once had Johnny Cash, Steve Jobs and Bob Hope.
Now we have Barack Obama, no cash, no jobs and no hope.