How many men does it take to open a beer?None. It should be opened by the time shebrings it.
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place topick up a woman?Because a woman who can't even afford awashing machinewill never Be able to support you.
Why do women have smaller feet thanmen?So they can stand closer to the kitchensink.
How do you know when a woman's aboutto say something smart?When she starts her sentence with "A manonce told me..."
How do you fix a woman's watch?You don't. There's a clock on the oven!
Why do men pass gas more than womendo?Because women won't shut up longenough to build up pressure.
If your dog is barking at the back door andyour wife is yelling at thefront door, which do you let in first?The dog of course...at least he'll shut upafter you let him in.
All wives are alike, but they have differentfaces so you can tell themapart.
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?A woman that won't do what she's told.
What do you call a woman with two braincells?Pregnant.
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know herfirst name was always.
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months - Idon't like to interrupther.
What do you call a woman who has lost95% of her intelligence?Divorced.
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Somesay monogamy is the same.
Scientists have discovered one certain foodthat diminishes a woman'ssexdrive by 90%...wedding cake