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President's Speech in Ebonics
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The following statement has been translated into ebonics.Good evening.(Yo Yo Yo, s'up?).This afternoon in this room, from this chair, I testified before theOfficeof Independent Counsel and the grand jury. (Today at my crib thesesuckersand playa-haters started grillin' a brotha).I answered their questions truthfully, including question about myprivatelife, questions no American citizen would ever want to answer. (Deystartedfrontin' about my game and asking all kinds of fowl sh-t). Still, Imusttake complete responsibility for all my actions, both public andprivate.And that is why I am speaking to you tonight. (I'm tired of thesehatersthrowing salt in my game. I'm going to let yall know my Mackin styletonight).As you know, in a deposition in January, I was asked questions about myrelationship with Monica Lewinsky. While my answers were legallyaccurate,I did not volunteer information.(Awhile back, you nosey motherfu-ers wanted to know if I was hittin'hoe-assMonica's skins. You ain't got no video, so if you want to believe a $10hoethen oh well).

Indeed, I did have a relationship with Ms. Levwinsky that was notappropriate. In fact, it was wrong. It constituted a critical lapse injudgment and a personal failure on my part for which I am solely andcompletely responsible.(Yeah, I was hittin' that dime dropping Bit-h! She was only sucking myjammie though. I was stupid for messing with a young big mouthed skank.My bad, but don't hate me because I'm a playa).But I told the grand jury today and I say to you now that at no time didIask anyone to lie, to hide or destroy evidence.(Outside of that hit I told punk-ass AG (Al Gore) to put on gay-assStar,Monica and her snitching friend, I was chill the whole time).

I can only tell you I was motivated by many factors. First, by a desiretoprotect myself from the embarrassment of my own conduct. (Check dis, Iheard she was down with what ever, you know a freak ass beiach. Shewasn'tall that but I planned to pimp her around to my boyz in the Senate).The independent counsel investigation moved on to my staff and friends,theninto my private life. And now the investigation itself is underinvestigation.(Those haters started sweatin' my homeys and my peeps. Dey pissed anuggaoff when they tried to make me look like I'm not real or somefin. Matter offact dey shady asses be on the take anyway).

This has gone on too long,cost too much and hurt too many innocent people.(Tryin' to hit me they wasted alot of Cheddar and pissed off my Crew).Nothing is more important to me personally. But it is private, and Iintendto reclaim my family life for my family. It's nobody's business butours.(I'm a pimp and playa and I'm going to be one, dey cant change a nugga! Getsome busness'. Hillary is chill because I got more than enough WhiteWaterdirt on her ass, that will get her sent up before I'm outtie).

It istimeto stop the pursuit of personal destruction and the prying into privatelifeand get on with our national life.(Get off my jock because I'm going to Flex regardless. Just in caseyallforgot until you chumps ax me I'm still the sh-t!) Now it is time - infact,it is past time - to move on.(F-k all yall, I don't give a f-k!, Peace out!!!)


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