A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was very nervous, so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his latex gloves.
"Do you know how they make these gloves?" he asked.
"No, I don't", she replied.
"Well," he spoofed, 'there's a building here in Canada with a big tank of latex, and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size."
She didn't even crack a smile.
Oh, well. At least I tried", he thought.
But about five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure, she suddenly burst out laughing.
In a crowded New York City at a busy bus stop, a woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight leather skirt. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg.
Again, she tried to make the step only to discover she still couldn't. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more. For the second time, attempted the step, and once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg. With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to make the step.
About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus. She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and screeched, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!'The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends."
A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts."
She looked a little puzzled but brought him a beer.
When he finished it, he said, "Quick, bring me another beer. It's going to start."
This time she looked a little angry but brought him a beer. When it was gone, he said, "Quick, get me another beer before it starts."
"That's it!", she bellowed. "You bastard! You waltz in here, flop your fat ass down, don't even say hello to me and then expect me to run around like your slave getting you beer after beer. Don't you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long?"
The husband sighed and said, "Oh shit! It started."