HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN:

• Compliment her
• cuddle her
• kiss her
• caress her
• love her
• stroke her
• tease her
• comfort her
• protect her
• hug her
• hold her
• spend money on her
• wine & dine her
• buy things for her
• listen to her
• care for her
• stand by her
• support her
• go to the ends of the earth for her....

HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN:

• Show up naked.

Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven. At the gates, the angel tells Ford,"Well, you've been such a good guy and your invention, the car, changed the world. As a reward, you can hang out with anyone you want in heaven."

So, Henry Ford thinks about it and says, "I wanna hang out with Adam, the first man." So, the guy at the gates points Adam out to Ford.

When Ford gets to Adam, Ford asks, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of the woman?" Adam says yes.

"Well," says Ford, "You have some major design flaws in your invention:

1. There's too much front end protrusion.
2. It chatters at high speeds.
3. The rear end wobbles too much.
4. The intake is placed too close to the exhaust."

"Hmmm...", says Adam, "hold on."

So Adam goes to the celestial supercomputer, types in a few keystrokes, and waits for the result. The computer prints out a slip of paper and Adam reads it. He then says to Henry Ford, "It may be that my invention is flawed, but according to the celestial computer, more men are riding my invention than yours."