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Mitt Romney - Just Like You and Me   [click for more]






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This is a list of what all the advertising terms on products really mean...

  • NEW - Different color from previous design.
  • ALL NEW - Parts are not interchangeable with previous design.
  • EXCLUSIVE - Imported product.
  • UNMATCHED - Almost as good as the competition.
  • FOOLPROOF OPERATION - No provision for adjustments.
  • ADVANCED DESIGN - The advertising agency doesn't understand it.
  • IT'S HERE AT LAST - Rush job. Nobody knew it was coming.
  • FIELD TESTED - Manufacturer lacks test equipment.
  • HIGH ACCURACY - Unit on which all parts fit.
  • FUTURISTIC - No other reason why it looks the way it does.
  • REDESIGNED - Previous flaws fixed - we hope.
  • DIRECT SALES ONLY - Factory had a big argument with distributor.
  • YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - We finally got one to work.
  • BREAKTHROUGH - We finally figured out a use for it.
  • MAINTENANCE FREE - Impossible to fix.
  • MEETS ALL STANDARDS - Ours, not yours.
  • SOLID-STATE - Heavy as hell.
  • LESS FATTENING - Now doesn't have the same fat content as pig stomach lining.
  • HIGH RELIABILITY - We made it work long enough to ship it.
  • NON-REFUNDABLE - We couldn't make it work long enough to ship it.
  • FAT FREE - You pay for the food, but the fat is free.




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